Tag Archive for ‘Comedy On Tilt’
How to Make Your Bed from the Inside Out in six easy steps
For those of you who like how to articles…for those of you who like tips articles…for those of you who have a hard time getting out of bed…staying out of bed…or, just making your bed once you’re out of bed…this one, dear hearts, is for you. Partly tongue in cheek, and partly emminently practical for […]
“I Am Gardener,” by Daniel Holland
I eat, smell, inhale, and cling to the dirt. I am gardener, feel my grit.
“Writing Dollars and Sense,” by Daniel Holland
Should I write a story with big words that pays big money? Or, should I write this story that is worth only five cents but makes sense to me?
“Traveling Blister,” by Daniel Holland
When the blister wants to come out, there’s no stopping it. Walk too much–the blister can come out. Use your hands a lot–the blister will come out. “Me, Blister, I will travel.” Sit down a lot and see what happens. The end.
“Snow Story Lies,” by Daniel Holland
I always lie when I tell snow stories. You say you walked to school as a kid in two feet of snow. I say I walked in three feet of snow. Not only that–it was 20 degrees below zero. There were no bathrooms in sight, a lot of people around. I was pee-shy.
“Shadow Griping,” by Daniel Holland
Why do we gripe, comparing shadows? The shadow is past. Why choose to live in a shadow? I want to tan with the richness of sunlight.
“First Words,” by Daniel Holland
If I write about cavemen, do I need to go to a library? Or can I just say the caveman’s first two words? Fire. Wheel.
“Measuring Life,” thoughts by Daniel Holland
How to Measure Life is measured by a watch and a ruler. By the way, what time is it?
“Walking Over Water,” a poem by Daniel Holland
Walking Over Water Stick falls off oak tree in winter’s bare delight. Thin stick over deep water, chilled water. “Courage!” I say to my bare tingly toes.
“Time Bottle,” a poem by Daniel Holland
I put my mind in a time bottle. Watch the particles of brain matter funnel down the sand trap called Time.
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