In her series of articles on Riehlife, Khadijah shares how she stays sane by encouraging and nurturing creativity in herself and her children. Read about her life in Yemen at her blog Yemeni Journey.

Khadijah is a transplant from Wisconsin's Kickapoo Valley. She's lived in Yemen for almost nine years with her husband and eight children.

#1 "Creative Parenting: My Head Is Full of Poems."

#2 Creative Parenting: Poverty as Creative Catalyst

Now...here's number 3...

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Another Way of Seeing
by Khadijah Lacina

It seems a simple truth that for every lesson I teach my children, they teach me another, unique lesson. This was the case last week, as I sat typing at my computer as my six-year-old daughter. Maryam came into the room and started rummaging around for paper and pencil. I didn't ask her what she was doing, I simply ripped out a piece of notebook paper and gave it to her, along with something to draw with. As I continued typing, she put the paper on a hardcover book lay down on the floor on her stomach, knees bent, her feet waving in the air.

A few minutes later Mu'aadh, my eight-year-old son, knocked and entered my room. He tossed himself down on the couch and started humming to himself. Just as his tuneless humming was about to drive me batty, Maryam invited him to come and draw with her. He didn't commit himself, but sat down next to her and they began a whispered conversation that was much less annoying than his humming had been. I continued working as they talked, and soon I noticed Mu'aadh getting down the box of crayons and colored pencils from Grandma Gretchen.

“You have to draw the tree, it isn't right without the tree,” said Mu'aadh. More whispers, then, “You draw the tree if you want the tree.”

“Where's the red? I need the red.” The sound of fingers dragging through crayons. “Here, this is sort of red, or maybe sort of maroonish-peachish.” I paused, thinking, “Maroonish-peachish??” Not two colors I would have ever thought to associate with each other.

“You color that part, I'm coloring this part.”

“We can both color it, see?”

After a blessed half-an-hour or so, I was proudly presented with a drawing of our house. It was small, in the background, and indeed no tree had been placed where the tree in reality existed. The foreground of the picture was taken up with a riot of colors--reds, greens, blues. I searched for the “maroonish-peachish” but failed to find it. Not wanting to seem dense, I didn't ask what the colors represented.

Instead I looked at the picture from different angles. Then I had it. The beautiful jubilation of color in front of the house was the field of garbage where our neighbors all dumped their trash--brightly colored plastic bags, wrappers of all description, vegetable peelings, whatever they had to get rid of. This same field of trash had upset and annoyed me on and off for months. Yet Mu'aadh and Maryam had made it look pretty, almost like a field of flowers in full bloom.

Later, on the roof, I looked down on the garbage field. It still looked ugly to me. Then I thought of the children, and how they could see beauty in it, enough beauty that they felt they had to put it to paper. Always willing to learn a lesson and nurture my inner child, I scrunched up my eyes a bit, and looked again. Instead of looking at each individual piece of trash, I tried to let my mind see what Maryam and Mu'aadh had seen. In the end, I decided their picture was better than the field of garbage could ever look, but I was thankful for the reminder, gently given by my little ones, of the beauty that can be found in almost anything, if we take the time and make the effort to see it.

In her series of articles, Khadijah shares how she stays sane by encouraging and nurturing creativity in herself and her children. Read about her life in Yemen at her blog Yemeni Journey. In this post she tells about so many things dear to my heart. In my life, it's been the handmade presents made from everyday materials that have meant the most to me. We don't need to commodify crafts or creativity.

Khadijah is a transplant from Wisconsin's Kickapoo Valley. She's lived in Yemen for almost nine years with her husband and eight children.

--Janet

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Poverty as Creative Catalyst
by Khadijah Lacina

Every time I go on the internet, I am bombarded with images of things I “need” to have to enhance my creativity, to find the artist within...exotic yarns, expensive fabrics, little doo-dads and widgets and what-not that are necessary in order to make every project perfect. Quilt patterns calling for specific fabric from specific companies. Crochet patterns that rely on $20.00 a skein yarn. Crafts for children that require all sorts of specific paints and materials.

I couldn't afford these things in the States, and I can't afford them here in Yemen- even if they were available.

So what do people who don't have stellar craft budgets do?

Here's an example. A few days ago the children decided to make some paper chains to decorate the house for the upcoming Eid celebration. You know, the ones you made in school out of construction paper and white glue. Thing is, I have yet to even see construction paper in Yemen, and if I did find it, I doubt if such a luxury item would fit into our budget. Sukhailah told me what they wanted to do, and why they couldn't do it.

“Why not make your own colored paper?” I asked. She immediately understood, and the children spent an hour or so on the floor with old waxy crayons, coloring both sides of white printer paper. They even mixed colors and made “variegated” as Mu'aadh said. Then they cut out their strips, and made their beautiful multi-colored paper chains to hang up in every room.

Another example. A friend left us a bunch of quilting magazines when she moved to Egypt. At first, paging through them, the girls became disheartened, as they saw the intricate patterns calling for very specific cloth and colors to make them work. All we have is a motley collection of fabrics given to us over the last few years- certainly nothing that was meant to go together like the patterns in these magazines called for.

I hauled the bag out, though, and told them to pick out a pattern that they liked. I picked one out as well. Then we sorted through the different sizes and colors of cloth, until we came up with our own color schemes. Then we altered the patterns to fit what we had on hand.

The results are very satisfying, thank you. As we did it, I told them that this was the heart of quilting before it became an “art” form- and in a way, it took a lot more work doing it our way than just getting a pattern and heading off to the fabric store.

And so it goes on. We make gifts for each other out of whatever we have on hand--dolls for the girls, a cardboard box dresser for doll clothes, brightly colored rayon fabric for draw string bags, an old drink jar decorated to make a pencil holder, coloring books drawn by hand and photocopied...the list goes on.

And, as with their multi-hued paper chains, the end results are incredibly, undeniably, totally without compromise, ours. And that's what makes it all worth it!

Three of my merry band of creative friends (Hal Manogue, Eden Maxwell, and Hal Zina Bennett) wrote extensive comments to make for a lively dialogue. Here's what Hal says. I invite you to read the Creative Catalyst post, and the comments it generated. Hal's extensive bio is below his article.--Janet

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Creative Process: Getting Inside the Inside

by Hal Zina Bennett

The bugaboo of “it’s inside you” is locating where that is. I remember reading "The Alchemist," by Paolo Coelho years ago. It's an entire book about discovering the heart (the inside) with many adventures and lots of discussion between the boy and the Alchemist about what that meant.

Similarly, when I taught workshops I had people do an exercise called Writing in The Present. For some, it was instant connection with the inside, for others it was a frustrating puzzle. But what always amazed me was that even when writers had done it–connected with the inside, and almost instantly–they didn’t recognize it or didn’t know where to go with it.

Why? Partly because inside is scary. We expend a huge amount of energy in our lives trying to stay away from it because “there be the demons, the shame, and crawly things.” But it’s not really that simple, either. Sometimes the inside just seems too banal to us. It’s too familiar. We live with it everyday. Why would anyone else be interested? Where’s the poetry? Indeed.

But when you get into that place, or your pen or computer takes you inside, it’s electric for the reader and for you. I reread Hemingway a couple months ago, The Sun Also Rises: he’s banal, in one sense. He’s just telling how his days are going with his bunch of drunkard friends wandering aimlessly around Europe trying to figure out what their generation’s war was about and what the hell bullfights are about, and who Brett is screwing now and why Jake Barnes is such a pain in the butt. Not much goes on but what goes on is close to Ernest’s heart.

We miss the point of what he’s about if we think he is reporting what’s really happening in his life; rather, he is doing a crackup job of shaping the memories of his with words. He’s touching that place that Yeats talked about, when you cannot tell the dancer from the dance. And he was an awful good wordsmith.

Between the lines the book is about the words, his love of the words, a certain simplicity that takes him and the reader not so much into what Brett or Jake or any of the rest of them are doing but into the ecstatic place of a man writing a book, the love of the craft that Ernest had and that mattered to him more than anything else.That’s where his heart was.

And, incidentally, if you look very closely, and you also read your Bible–King James and his band of scurvy scribes–you’ll discover where bold, brash Ernest got his rhythms of language, the simplicity for telling a story, and a good part of his existential angst, in the process.

Look at a passage like this (from Oxford Bible: Mark 5:35): “That day, in the evening, he said to them, ‘Let us cross over to the other side of the lake.’ So they left the crowd and took him with them in the boat where he had been sitting, and there were other boats accompanying him.” Finding the inside isn’t about bleeding onto the page or about flowery language or clever metaphors. It’s more about being present with what you’re doing right now, especially how it feels as you’re putting words on the page–or rewriting for the 17th time. That’s where the beauty of the writer in the act of writing and touching that inside place.

The long and not so short of it is that touching the inside is the most elusive part of our craft. After publishing more than 30 books, there are maybe a few pages I love in each of them when the inside drives the writing. I like to believe that every writer knows it when they touch that place. It lifts you, literally, and is as difficult to explain as orgasm.

Chaucer said, “The life so short, the craft so long to learn.” That’s pretty much the story, isn’t it?

_________________

Hal Zina Bennett has been my unofficial writing mentor. He offers writing classes, individual coaching and publishing expertise.

Hal's writings, workshops and lectures have reached millions of readers and writers the world over. With more than 30 successful books of his own, he also coaches upcoming writers, helping them with everything from initial conceptualization to finding agents and publishers.

His gifts as a teacher and writing coach have proved invaluable for the more than 200 authors he has helped toward successful publication. Several of his clients have become national best-sellers and Oprah guests. His client list has included: Phil McGraw (Dr. Phil), Judith Orloff, Shakti Gawain, Jerry G. Jampolksy, Dharma Singh Khalsa, Stanislaf Grof, Michael Samuels, MD, and many others.

Hal's own list of published works includes novels, poetry, magazine articles and non-fiction-writings that open hearts and minds to the expanding range of the human experience. You have a great treat in store, whether reading one of Hal's books or taking one of his workshops.

I've explored these questions and many others with participants at conferences for the Missouri Writers Guild
and Story Circle Network (in Texas). One of my favorite excercises in this workshop is to take poems and prose from recognized authors and ask the workshop participants to "translate" the prose into poetry and the poetry into prose.

Try it to see what you discover about these two ways of writng and the border where they meet and cross.

At the Missouri Writers Guild Conference I presented a variation called: "Prose? Poetry? Who knows?"

I enjoy exploring the line between the two genres. We toggle back and forth and learn lots.

She told me a lovely story of a party where every woman received a limerick celebrating them. This reminds me of the Praise Poems I wrote for a group of women in New Mexico known as The Eskimo Cookie Sisters.

Nancy says, "At the Story Circle Network Conference I met some of the most interesting women who shared some of their knowledge and experiences. It proved to be a delightful weekend spent making some friends on this crazy planet we call Earth. As we were driving home that little bothersome muse began to run around in my head and out popped a few limericks about a few of the people I so thoroughly enjoyed meeting....this one is for Janet."

I'm honored to share it with you. --JGR

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Janet

There once was a woman named Janet
The Circle she did help to plan it
She came here to tell
Her stories so well
A smile, a new friend on this planet!

She's kindly responded to my call for April poems. Here's her introduction to "The Sparrow," which she refers to as "my little novice poem." --JGR

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"The Sparrow" tells the story of a little bird that flew into my window one day when something scared the flock cheeping outside my office. Then, as I went to the door to see what it was, my lab scooped it up in her mouth! Anyway, you'll see.

Other than Haiku, I don't do poetry. I have no training what-so-ever. My writing process? I call it 'fit in the cracks'. Whenever I have a moment between three jobs-- volunteer work, mother, wife, house-slave--I read, review and write. Usually I work at night after I put everyone and everything to bed.

This little poem was different because it struck me (like the bird striking the window) in the middle of the day, and simple as it is I had to put it down on paper.

Thanks for your wonderful poet soul and all you do to keep words alive!
__________________

The Sparrow
by Rhonda Esakov

Hungry, hungry
We search through the leaves
Something tasty
Must rest in the trees.
Alert, alert!

Somebody cries
Fly away home
before one of us dies.
WHAM, fall
I’m stunned - can’t bend
A glimpse of a window
and darkness descends.

Warm, wet
How can that be?
I hold very still.
What’s happened to me?

Hold, hold
Don’t move a bit
A light comes back on,
Could this be it?

Gasp, yelling
“Ruby dog, DROP!”
The trembling wet mass
lands with a plop.

Shush, shush
Poor little thing
I’ll set you free
to enjoy the spring.

In our column "Creative Catalyst" on Story Circle Network's blog Telling Her Stories: The Broad View, we have posted the first two of a three-part cycle on collaboration:

5.1 Collaboration: How to Make It Work
5.2 Collaboration: Trust Floats the Boat

What makes a good collaboration?

Janet: In part one we talked about how we met and began our collaboration that drew on:

1) Shared life and work experiences that formed a personal and professional bond between us;
2) Knowing and liking each other. Work as an extension of friendship and the other way around.
3) Interlocking Strengths & Skills

What else has worked for us?

#4 The same only different: Balance

Stephanie: We’re good partners. In addition to the complementary set of skills we bring to the work, we have different personalities and ways of working. That somehow balances out what we bring to our work together.

You're more directive than I am. You jump right in to shape a situation where I tend to work around whatever is going on. You're more "out there" while I'm more reserved. You're the frog, leaping into the water with abandon. I'm the one on the shore delicately dipping in a toe before making the decision to enter or not. We both see the whole picture, yet enjoy analyzing. I like to take a problem or piece of writing apart and make it work better as a whole. Imprecision irritates me.

#5 A shared sense of purpose, work ethic, discipline, humor, and desire for quality work.

Janet: It was sad really…when Stephanie became irritated by my imprecision.

Stephanie: Yes! This phrase of ours has helped us gain perspective and laughter over the years. Because of our time together, we can use verbal shorthand—no explanation necessary—because we have a history

Janet: It’s like a long-married couple who speak in code. Now that is really sad!
Carol Lloyd categorizes several different types of creativity. What I like about our collaborative relationship is that we not only have differences, but also over-lapping strengths.
We both are good at brainstorming and get a kick out of it, but that’s probably the phase of the creative process that’s my best shot. Carol calls that generative creativity.

While I'm analytical, you are even more so. We can both shape and structure, but you are clearer, pared down, and rigorous in what to leave out and when to push for clarification. In Carol's term, I see you as a "realizer." You move our work into form and hold it to a high standard. On my own I tend to be rather a seat of the pants gal and improvise as I go along.

#6 Knowing and Honoring Needs

Stephanie: “Rigorous”—I like that word. One of the reasons we can work together so intensely is that our communication is mainly by phone and email. This lessens the intensity so it’s not so overwhelming. That has made it possible to meet for longer periods of time—and sustain our working relationship over time.

We both find face-to-face interactions tiring. We’re good about honoring that. When we're together for more than just a quick visit, we build in alone time to have a cup of tea, relax and rest. The sensitivity of good friendship.

Janet: You are more inward that I am, but we both need that rest to recover and regroup. We share many of the INFP [Meyers-Briggs Introverted-Intuitive-Feeling-Perceiving], and those qualities and patterns helped us tune in more accurately and with greater understanding. Since the INFP profile is only 1 percent of the population, we’re lucky to have found that in a working partner.

Stephanie: Only 1%. We are rara avis indeed!

Janet: The underlying qualities in our relationship that melds our collaboration are a shared sense of purpose, humor, desire for quality work, a shared work ethic and discipline. We’ve both done extensive work for hire which requires working to client specifications, on deadline and within budget. These common values yield good communication, expectations, and trust.

#7 Truth, Trust, and Resolving Conflict

Let's talk about trust a bit. What is the nature of trust? How is it built? How does it feed into collaboration? How is it sustained?

Stephanie: True trust can come only through experience. Unless you've done things together, how do you know if you can count on someone? The more you interact the more comfortable you're able to feel.
Trust also involves being able to be truthful without feeling as if you're putting yourself in danger of being knocked down. Nothing worthwhile ever proceeds with some sort of snag, so it's critical to be able to talk about the snags and figure out what to do about them.
Without trust true collaboration isn’t possible. If you're holding back because of unease, then it isn't collaboration. It becomes a hierarchical work situation in which one holds power over the other. Trustworthiness itself sustains trust. Being trustworthy means doing what you've promised, respecting your partner, and resolving differences when they do arise.

Janet: Yup. Yup. Resolving conflict—either through exploring it directly or just laughing about it—is vital. And, yes, for us being willing to stick with it has allowed trust. I feel secure because I believe this is a friendship that will go the distance rather than crumple at the first wrinkle. Perhaps for others that security and depth can come through shorter acquaintanceship, but it’s the longevity that seals it.

Stephanie: Yes, stick-to-it-tiv-ness.

Janet: Yup.

www.riehlife.com/2010/01/30/making-collaboration-work-part-1-with-womens-memoir-duo-kendra-bonnett-matilda-butler

www.riehlife.com/2010/01/30/making-collaboration-work-part-2-womens-memoir-duo-kendra-bonnett-matilda-butler/

storycircle.typepad.com/scn/2010/01/collaboration.html