Riehl Life: Village Wisdom for the 21st Century » Comedy On Tilt

How to Make Your Bed from the Inside Out in six easy steps

riehlife — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:12:39 +0000

For those of you who like how to articles...for those of you who like tips articles...for those of you who have a hard time getting out of bed...staying out of bed...or, just making your bed once you're out of bed...this one, dear hearts, is for you. Partly tongue in cheek, and partly emminently practical for us cut to the chase, lazy-daisy homemakers.

1. Lie in the middle of the bed and open your eyes slowly.
2. Pull up the covers on either side of your body with both hands.
3. Ensure that the covers are even.
4. Tug to make sure.
5. Adjust every layer on your bed---top sheet and warm covers.

Revelation:
[I sleep under two heavy comforters my mother made. I like the weight. It's like a hug.]

6. Deftly slip out of bed and fluff.

There! Your bed is made, and you, dear hearts are up! Our winter's hibernation is almost at an end.

“I Am Gardener,” by Daniel Holland

riehlife — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 09:00:23 +0000

I eat,
smell,
inhale,
and cling
to the dirt.

I am gardener,
feel my grit.

“Writing Dollars and Sense,” by Daniel Holland

riehlife — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 09:00:19 +0000

Should I write a story
with big words that pays big money?

Or, should I write this story
that is worth only five cents
but makes sense to me?

“Traveling Blister,” by Daniel Holland

riehlife — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 09:36:36 +0000

When the blister wants to come out, there’s no stopping it.
Walk too much--the blister can come out.
Use your hands a lot--the blister will come out.

“Me, Blister, I will travel.”
Sit down a lot and see what happens.
The end.

“Snow Story Lies,” by Daniel Holland

riehlife — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 09:34:36 +0000

I always lie when I tell snow stories. You say you walked to school as a kid in two feet of snow. I say I walked in three feet of snow. Not only that--it was 20 degrees below zero. There were no bathrooms in sight, a lot of people around. I was pee-shy.

“Shadow Griping,” by Daniel Holland

riehlife — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 09:30:38 +0000

Why do we gripe, comparing shadows?
The shadow is past.
Why choose to live in a shadow?
I want to tan with the richness of sunlight.

“First Words,” by Daniel Holland

riehlife — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 09:00:51 +0000

If I write about cavemen, do I need to go to a library?
Or can I just say the caveman’s first two words?
Fire. Wheel.

“Measuring Life,” thoughts by Daniel Holland

riehlife — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 09:00:09 +0000

How to Measure

Life is measured by a watch and a ruler.
By the way, what time is it?

“Walking Over Water,” a poem by Daniel Holland

riehlife — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 10:00:21 +0000

Walking Over Water

Stick falls off oak tree in winter’s bare delight.
Thin stick over deep water, chilled water.
“Courage!” I say to my bare tingly toes.

“Time Bottle,” a poem by Daniel Holland

riehlife — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 09:00:44 +0000

I put my mind in a time bottle.
Watch the particles of brain matter
funnel down
the sand trap called Time.