Here at my father’s atop the bluffs above the River Road the eagles get up-close-and-personal. Sometimes they fly so close above my windshield as I climb our big hill to the Big Brown House that I feel I should duck. Our area is on the migratory flyway for all sorts of birds. The eagles create quite a stir. Motorists stop to whip out their binoculars. The eagles soar. And roost in the bare trees that climb the Mississippi River bluffs.

So, I was especially struck by a dialogue between my writing pals Judith Stanton and Charlotte Hussey about watching eagles and crows. Judith is the author of “A Stallion to Die For: an equestrian suspense.” You can learn more about Judith's work at Cat Crossing. Charlotte is the author of “Glossing the Spoils” recently accepted for publication by Awen Press in the U.K. Judith lives in North Carolina while Charlotte lives in Montreal. You can learn more about Charlotte by reading her profile at Awen Press.

JUDITH

Just had to share! North Carolina State University in Raleigh is running a live cam on a bald eagle's nest at Jordan Lake only about 12 miles from me. There's about a 60-eagle population. The eaglets hatched on the 13 and 14th and Ma and Pa Eagle are devoted.

The cam was down for two days until just this morning, but it's live again now every day from dawn to dusk. Most of the time there's little action, with Ma or Pa just sitting on the next, but if you get lucky you get to see them feeding the babies from small birds or fish that they keep in their pantry-the lower right side of the nest. It'll be several weeks before they fledge, but I'm leaving it on all day and checking in when I take potty breaks.

Can't wait until the eaglets get bigger. Every spring I'm a devoted fan of the barn swallows who've been nesting in a corner of one of the back porches for years now, usually two nestings.

The eagles' location is a carefully guarded secret and in the interests of protecting the wildness of the eagles and themselves from anthropomorphizing them, they have not given them names. To avoid the commercials, you have to either turn down the sound or subscribe for $4 a month. Am tempted to subscribe just to support the effort. You can find more information at the Hancock Wildlife site.

CHARLOTTE

Last night when I got home right across the street in a tall maple were at least 200 crows.....a real murder. I think they were up to something, because after I went to bed a terrible howling started up. It was such a wind that pounded us all night long. Parts of Montreal are still without power.

I woke up in the middle of the all-night wind storm worried about what had happened to the crows and their nests in such wintery blasts as were going on. Do you think that’s what they were all convening about in the big maple a few hours before we got pummeled? I have no idea what crows do to protect themselves in such high winds.

Montreal has an enormous crow population and they do meet-ups in the winter. To keep warm? Exchange tips on where the best winter meals can be had? Crows are very intelligent and mysterious creatures. We’ve had as many as 5,000 crows roosting. I do love my crows!

JUDITH

Wow. I assumed all birds left the frozen north with only a few geese and ducks (protected by all that down) remaining.

Charlotte, I think birds have several options in high winds, including flying above them if the winds are low enough. But they must just grab a branch on the lea side of a large tree and hang on.

Yesterday it turned sharply cold (for North Carolina). Several dozen turkey buzzards spiraled in the down drafts above the courthouse in an impressive display for the few people out and about on the streets.

Eagle update: After only a week the eaglets have more than doubled in size and the feedings seem more and more frequent-maybe once an hour. Ma or Pa spends a few minutes shredding bits off the fish before starting to feed the little ones, and they are hungry little buggers. Here in North Carolina we're having a remarkably mild winter with no snow so far, but this same pair has raised broods for the last three winters when we did have snow. The babies are expected to fledge in early April. They’ll be enormous then, and the parents' job of supplying food for them will be almost endless.

STANDARD QUESTIONS

First, let me go on record with the standard intake interview questions we ask on first dates. It's sort of like a case study to find out where the person is coming from. In practice, of course, these questions are best artfully, skillfully, and organically scattered like breadcrumbs throughout the conversation: "Here's my answer. Yours?" Sometimes I've wished that we could just exchange synopsizes so we can cut to the chase.

Q: Childhood?
A: Anachronistic.

Q: Serious relationships?
A: Six. Two marriages. Two in which I proposed and was turned down. Two proposals I turned down. Symmetrical.

Q: Kids?
A: No. Godchildren, nieces & nephews and their children, upstairs neighbors. Having kids in my life is important to me.

Q: Work?
A: I have three basic skill sets: writing, teaching and training, launching and directing projects. My work in Africa, with the Pueblos in New Mexico, inner city youth, migrant and seasonal farmworkers, and corporate culture forced me to appreciate cultural differences while finding similarities that allow us to connect. From 1972 to 1989 I worked primarily in nonprofit organizations. Since 1990 I never had a full time job as I focused on my creative life as an artist, writer, and performer.

Q: Now?
A: Retired. There, I've said the "R" word. Bop between country and city as I share caretaking for my 96-year-old father. Follow my creative thread as best I can.

Q:When you're not with your father?
A: Rest, relax, recharge, regroup in the city with friends, books, films, and creative work as I'm able. Nothing of any particular social value.

Q: Travel?
A: Yes.
_________________________________

SPRINGBOARD QUESTIONS

Okay, now we get to the really interesting questions. In no particular order here are some questions my pal calls "springboards." My image of "springboard" is a high diving board. Warning: Be careful. Diving from great heights into deep water can be hazardous.

Q: What is the core value that motivates your life and work?
A: I want to make something beautiful for God. My vision is one world drawn together through art.

Q: The mission for Riehlife is to "Create connections through the arts and across cultures." What does connection mean to you?
A: Connection is at the heart of creativity in all its forms--the stuff we do daily and the stuff we make. To connect ideas--or anything else--one must first diverge to explore possibilities and then converge to bring these possibilities together.

Q: What's been the glue in your intimate relationships? Great sex?
A: [Laughter] Unfortunately, no. The glue has been companionship with an eye to comfort and help.

Q: Has formal spiritual practice been important in your relationships?
A: No. Though some have been soulful.

A: I've never heard you use "Buddhism" and "Art" in the same sentence. Do these connect for you?
Q: this is a question whose answer is contained in whole libraries. If we recast the question as "What's the Art Spirit to you?" then we cut it down to fewer libraries. Briefly? When we infuse our art with spirit, we infuse ourselves and the world with spirit. This morning I'm thinking of "spirit" as a "spirited horse" filled with piss and vinegar.

QUESTIONS THAT CUT TO THE QUICK OF ME

Q: If you weren't so involved with your father, what would you do?
A: Are you talking about right now? Such as: What are my interests? What are the constraints on my current life? Or, are you talking about the future?

Q: Let's say, what would your life look like without constraints (schedule, time, energy, mobility)?
A: I no longer know. Mostly I would have the space to know.

Q: What will you do after your father's death?
A: This is the really big question that cuts to the heart of me. My most tumultuous struggle is to imagine life without my father in it, and to prepare for that. Who will I be and what will I be doing after his death? Is there life after Daddy Care? Seven years into family caretaking, my challenge is to take care of myself and to trust that there is a future, even though I have no clue what it is. To trust that I'll be able to sort out later what it all means.

Ernest Dempsey and I met in 2007 when he reviewed my book "Sightlines: A Poet's Diary" on TCM Reviews--Tami Brady's review site. Since then we've become writing friends across the waves. On Riehlife I've often referred to him as "Our Man in Pakistan."

Have some fun reviewing the Riehlife archives that feature Ernest Dempsey's wit and wisdom.

Often I'll be typing along on my email and the chat box pops up with a greeting from Ernest. Something interesting always emerges. Here's today's chat that we wanted to share with you.

--Janet
___________

Ernest: Happy Christmas!

Janet: And to you. Do you celebrate?

Ernest: I used to celebrate in a very unusual way, not at all religious. Now I just remember those memories; and it brings a warm feeling.

Janet: What did you do?

Ernest: Hard to explain briefly. Twenty years ago I would make short films in my mind, involving the characters from my favorite TV shows. It’s like I had my own "film industry" which celebrated Christmas all day long: films, games, and songs.

Janet: Wow. Sounds like the birth of you as a writer.

Ernest: Actually that was when I in class 9th in school, but I already had started writing when I was in 6th. The time in 9th was the peak of my creativity.

At home, I would go up on the roof and take a paper and pen, and then it was all me and imagination and words and joy.

Janet: That's lovely! A good topic for a little essay. Or a blog post?

Ernest: I actually have been thinking of writing an entire book, though one extremely nostalgic.

Janet: Well, you can write about the goodness of the past without being nostalgic.

Ernest: Yes, especially now when I am an internationally published author. In those days I only dreamt of being a known writer. How are you and Erwin? Do convey my greetings to him.

Janet: Daddy just got up and is taking his medicine. I just conveyed your greetings to him. He said, "I'm glad to be greeted from Pakistan. I'm glad to be here other than Pakistan. I'm glad to be here at all."

Ernest: Erwin's wonderful!

Janet: Yup, he's pretty special. Thanks for the chat. Will you have an imaginative film festival today?

Ernest: I’m afraid not. But I may be keeping a game tradition alive. Actually it's interesting. Earlier this month, I played that game with my writer friends’ names, including you.

Janet: What did you come up with?

Ernest: An American writing friend held the contest, and I won. She wanted to send me a gift basket as my prize.

Janet: And what's in the gift basket?

Ernest: For men, it was snacks; for women, spa items. I didn't want her to send me the basket all the way from America. So I thought of letting her send it to an American friend on my behalf.

Janet: Sweet!

Ernest: Yes, but the question was who to send it to, since all my writer friends are so wonderful. So I wrote down the names of my most special American friends, all writers and/or editors.

Janet: You're a generous fella.

Ernest: Thanks! I played that coin game with the names as the contestants for the prize. I would like to post the score of the game after the winner gets the prize. For now, I’m keeping the name of the winner to let the gift arrive as a surprise.

Janet: Nice! Got to leave now. Always good to be in touch.

Ernest: Likewise. Bye for now!

__________

Ernest’s unique coin game’s score will be made public after the winner receives that prize. Don’t miss checking out his journal Recovering the Self.

THE HARDEST DECISION I EVER HAD TO MAKE
by Erwin A. Thompson
Sergeant "I" Company,
36th Armored Infantry Regiment, First Army

STOHLBURG, GERMANY

On November 8, I was told that the Company Commander wanted to see me. I went to the company headquarters, "Sergeant, “ he said, "Tonight you are to lead a patrol seven hundred yards ahead of our lines, and find out what we need to know about their strength and position."

He went on to detail the mission. We were to go down the railroad track that ran through the town, and proceed in the direction that our higher headquarters thought that the Germans were. He told me that another squad of our platoon had gone out a hundred and fifty yards the night before and found nothing. All "friendly fire" such as artillery would be "lifted" (discontinued) for the time that we were to be out.

I didn't like the sound of it. If there would be anywhere that the enemy would be watching, it would surely be the railroad tracks which were the most logical route ahead of us. I expressed my misgivings. "That is the order that came down from higher headquarters, and that is what you are going to do!" Was the answer that I got. The only thing that I could say was: "Yes Sir!"

So I went to my platoon leader, a lieutenant. Probably a first lieutenant. I believe that all officers in combat were at least first lieutenants. Just before we had left the States a new order had come out that a commissioned officer would lead all night patrols. I said: "I suppose that you are going to lead the patrol." He just laughed at me.

The one good thing that they did was to allow me to plan my own personnel. There was no doubt in my mind that we were nothing more than human bait. But we had a mission to fulfill. We were pawns in what could be a much more important game. If the outfit decided to push on, that decision would be based on the nformation gathered by our trip out in front of our lines. I really did not expect any of us to get back from it. I called the men together and told them the prospect ahead. I quote from my poem, "The Portrait of a Man.” I can't say it as well any other way.

I asked for volunteers to go
A place where no man should.
The boys just sat and looked at me
Likes statues made of wood.

'Just pick the men you want,” said Chick.
“We'll go, and never bat an eye.
But a man's a fool to volunteer
To go out there and die!”

Well, the rest of the men seemed to feel the same way. It was the hardest thing that I ever did. It was a twelve man squad, including me. I did not expect that any of us would return from this mission. If there would be anywhere that the Germans would be watching it would be that railroad track. Eleven men.

During the Civil War General Sherman is quoted as saying: "War is Hell!" Anyone who has been truly involved in combat would agree. I picked Chick and his partner "Tennessee." I thought that we needed at least three, in case there was a chance that one might get back with some useful information. That was one thing that I appreciated, they let me choose my men and the number I felt I needed.

One of the men got me aside later and told me that he had found out that the other squad had just gone out a few feet, laid down for an hour, and then come back. The suggestion was plain, but I didn't think I could do that. Suppose we did such a thing, and the outfit pushed on and got ambushed? Suppose? No, if we were going to have any chance of winning this war, we were going to have to actually do what we were supposed to be doing, or nothing would work right!

Back in the training centers they had taught us that we should use signals, like running our fingers over the teeth of a comb, or tapping on a matchbox to signal the other members of the patrol what our intentions were as to start or stop, and to go right or left, and so on.

This had not worked worth a damn in the training center where there were no distracting influences. Here there was artillery fire coming in—and anything else might happen. I had lost about half of my patrol back there at Camp Fannin one time! This was no place to take chances. The night was as dark as a black cat. We used a tent rope, with knots in it so that we could keep our proper distance. We made up a system of jerks to indicate our intentions to the other members of the patrol.

The appointed hour arrived. We were told to contact the men in the tank that were supposed to be guarding the railroad track. One thing that confused the issue was that they had changed the password. We were to communicate this to the men in the tank. We could not get any response from them. We had learned from others who had seen this happen, that if a soldier was asleep and got awakened suddenly he usually came awake with a gun blazing! We gave up, and went on about our mission.

Our engineers had installed an M-8 anti-personnel mine by the railroad track at our foremost position. We got into the left ditch and crawled under the trip wire (which went across the track) to start out down the track away from our lines.

We had gone perhaps a hundred yards when there was an explosion, and I felt the shrapnel biting into my flesh.

A journey into "Jerryland," (German held territory)
And hours until the dawn.
A ringing crash, and burning pain;

I knew that we were gone!
I called his name, but hand grenades
Was all that answered, there.
I found the other boy and thought
We didn't have a prayer.
Another hail of hand grenades
Each moment brought a-fresh;
And bits of shrapnel tore their way
Into our bleeding flesh.

We never did get an answer from Chick. By this time we had gotten over the shock of the attack enough to take cover in the ditch beside the tracks. I talked to Tennessee. He told me to go on back that he couldn't because his leg was broken. "I can't walk," he said.

I had no thought of getting out and leaving him. I said: "You can crawl, can't you?" He said, yes, but it was too far to crawl. We got going in the right direction, and after awhile we ventured up onto the tracks. He put his arm over my shoulder, with his bad leg next to me. We were out of range of the grenades, now, although they were still trying for us where we had been.

We were making pretty good time when he said: "Tiger, what about that mine?" I reached my hand out, and touched that trip wire!

So, I saved his life, and he saved both of ours. A passage of scripture came to me then: "He who shall save his life shall lose it --” Had I run headlong for the comparative safety of or lines, I would probably have forgotten about the trip wire.

He crawled under the wire in the ditch at the side of the tracks as we had come in. I still had no idea how bad I was hurt. I was awfully tired! I attributed this to the exertion of almost carrying Tennessee for the distance that we had traversed with three legs doing the work of four. I was going to rest awhile, and then go see if I could find Chick.

We made it back, it must have been
That God knew our distress
His arm across my shoulders
And both a bloody mess!"

When Tennessee crawled under the wire the tankers opened fire on him with their machine gun! They had never gotten the message that there was a patrol out!

The squad that was holding the position that we had left from got them to stop. Fortunately, the night was so dark that they had missed him completely.

By this time my wounds had stiffened up so badly that I realized I could not go find Chick. In fact, I couldn't go anywhere! Tennessee told them that I was out there, and the men from the squad came and pulled me under the trip wire and into the building that they were holding as part of the "line."

The next morning the Germans read Chick's dog tags over their radio that some of our troops could hear. When I got my Third Armored book after the war he was still listed as "missing in action."

We don't know where our buddy is,
Or even that he's dead.
We only know we miss him so --.
'Lost in action', is all they said.
---------------
The hardest decision that I ever made. Sixty-six years later I would make the same one. If I had it to do over, I would make the distance between us the distance of two tent ropes. Possibly it might have helped. Otherwise the death and the injuries will have to be charged to: "The fortunes of war."

For previous post about Coco Louco Brasil's first anniversary party in 2010. My neighbor Craig Meyers played the laments of the "Choro Guys" led by Moacyr Marchini.
_______________

My long time friend Stephanie Farrow is visiting from New Mexico for an extended jazz conversation. To celebrate I took her to Coco Louco Brasil, one of my favorite places in the Central West End. Everything about the place is so honest and from the heart. It feels like home.

After our excellent dinner Executive Chef Jorge Carvalho stopped by our table which led to a charming chat, and an invitation to come for a private preview of their party room that's shaping up into what will be a fun and hopping lounge and nightclub.

While live music is the beat of the night, there's also a fun digital jukebox that thrives of dollar bills. Just the four of us (Jorge, Rachel, Stephanie, and I) sang along, danced, and raised our glasses filled with a shot of Leblon Cachaca, a rum-like spirit from Brazil made from distilled sugarcane and aged in French Cognac casks. Oh, my!

We did manage to find our way home. But, plan to return Friday, May 27th (7 p.m. to 12 a.m.) for the music of Velvet and the Velvet Express Band.

Here was my status update and comments that followed.

My latest recipe just out of the skillet! Sweet collard greens. Good enough for dessert: caramelize onions. Prepare collard greens--saute with olive oil and steam with apple cider. Add chopped hazelnuts & dried apricots. Oh yes...of course...ham bits. The savory with sweet...and slight bitter-sweetness of the greens meld together nicely. Think you don't like greens? Taste again.

Cathy Scoggins Weirich: This an absolute wonderful combination Janet. Love any kind of greens.

Margaret Norton: Collard greens. That's North Carolina food.

Janet Riehl Yup. Lots of places and people can claim it. We farm folk in SW and Southern Illinois think they're mighty fine, too!

Joanne Dine: I'm cooking collard green now. I'll keep your recipe it sounds good. I'm cooking mine with EVOO, garlic and chicken stock. I serve mine with tarragon vinegar.

Janet Riehl: What's EVOO?

Cynthia Barker Newberry: I like collards a lot. That and kale. EVOO = extra virgin olive oil

Jenny Hazard: mmmm sounds lovely, my son has a friend who makes the best greens I've ever had, she uses baslmac vinegar. Cider would be good too, and mandrin oranges,mmmmm (although I do kinda miss the down south fried in bacon fat version too)

Holly Banks: Wow that sounds marvelous!

Jennifer Mickelson: Wow, Janet! Love greens. The hazelnut & apricot must give them an awesome favor! TYSM.. for sharing! I can taste & smell them now with a crisp oaky, citruy chaardonnay with a hint of nutty flavor..food for the gourmands!

Jennifer Mickelson: Janet, have you try it with balsamic vinegar? Was thinking it might pop the carmelized onions.

Fran Ransley: Collards are California food, too, and they are at their absolute peak right now before going to flower, very sweet from the winter frost. I will try your recipe, it's got me salivating.

Jenny Hazard: Greens, of all sorts, are one of the things that will thrive well in a city garden, and they are very healthy, lots of calcium, minerals and vitamins!

Fran Ransley: They can get by on a lot less nutrients and less direct sun than tomatoes or squash. And the brassica family doesn't mind the heavy clay soil--they love it!

Rebecca Madison: M-m-m-m! I was just thinking of collard greens this morning. This is a recipe I will try.

Jenny Hazard: I've been looking into the 100 mile rule, one should only eat what grows within 100 miles of where you live...and along with that eating indigenous foods, it's quite interesting and there are many edible plants that we see growing everywhere (many call them "weeds") that we are unaware of.
Janet Riehl Wow. Who knew we'd have a collard's convention. May I quote your responses here in a Riehlife blog post?

Cathy Scoggins Weirich: Absolutely Janet--people don't have a clue what they are missing when they don't try collards and all the other delicious greens that are out there!!!

Selena Wolff: OOO, yummm......

Jenny: "You can eat dandelion greens. They are high in calcium and good for your liver! You have get them while they're young or they're too bitter."

Yup. Turns out it does.

"You feel vulnerable," my friend says. "There's an imbalance of power."

Power? Hmmm... Okay, that's part of it. I feel uncomfortable, exposed, vulnerable.

Then, I turn off my side of the video. Now it's okay. Audio-to-Audio. Forget the visual. That's fine by me.

When I want to concentrate on a conversation, I lie on the floor with my feet up, and stare at the ceiling. With my line of sight thus cleared, my thoughts become clearer and my exchanges are softer. It's like pillow talk.

Now we are equal and ready to take in and respond to whatever our conversation may bring.

Let’s ask ourselves, can a moment, let alone an entire 12-month period, suddenly vanish as the clock ticks 12 midnight? Boy! That’s almost like accusing the year of escaping in the middle of the night like a thief after stealing something from our lives. On the contrary, it always gives us more: more time to live and more life to spend.

And that’s why I love the departing year more than the new one. I feel that the year we leave behind contributes more to our lives than the one just beginning. But of course, that's thinking in bits. To live and feel whole, living time as a continuum is what we better choose. It works for me. And I hope you are there with me in this continuum.

My resolutions for the New Year are:
1) to value life more than before, in all its forms;
2) to reunite life with the beauty and wholesomeness of nature;
3) and to grow via the written word.

Just days ago, I posted the story of a brutally abused dog Rocko who has found new life after successful surgery and is now waiting for a caring family to adopt him as a friend for the rest of his life, however much remains of it.

Rocko’s story is symbolic of healing. I would always value 2010 as the year of Rocko and other loving creatures like him who look upon us as friends and for whose safety many caring souls are there.

Thank you all for making my life beautiful! The year 2011 will continue the good work we have furthered together. Love you for your beautiful souls!

Ernest Dempsey
Editor
Recovering the Self

TRIPLE LEMON CAKE (enhanced cake mix)
Buy a lemon cake mix and follow directions (for the most part).

Instead of 1 cup water substitute 3/4 cup water and 1/4 cup concentrated lemon juice. You can increase the lemon juice proportion if you want. More lemon juice will make the texture stickier, but still good.

Add lemon extract to taste--as much as 2-3 Tablespoons.

Lemon zest (thin slices of grated lemon rind) would add an extra lemon boost.

Topping: Buy lemon curd from the store. Heat slightly in microwave to soften. When the cake comes out of the oven, let cool slightly. Spread lemon curd over the top of the cake.

There you go. Wait for the yum-yums.

And...now Cranberry-Pineapple Compote (a la Janet)

I developed this recipe for my father since two of his favorite fruits are cranberries and apple. As I look at the compote definition and recipes this morning I see that it fits neatly into that tradition.

What's different from my method vs. the recipe on the cranberry packet:

1) It's more on the side of compote rather than straight cranberry sauce.
2) There's less sugar added (there is sugar in the canned fruit syrup), and has (tasters report) more subtle flavors as a result of the added fruit.

Here's how:

1 package fresh cranberries
(I cook two at a time. Each package plus additions yields about 1 quart)

Open cans of pineapple--chunk or crushed. Drain syrup into a measuring cup.

Open cans of apricots and/or peaches. Drain syrup and measure.

You can also add orange juice if you wish--up to the amount of the liquid specified on the cranberry package. You can also add concentrated lemon juice as part of the measured liquid. Go light on the lemon.

Add 1/2 the amount of sugar specified on the package.

Cook with lid on until soft. For an added twist, you could mash, but I've only done that once.

VARIATIONS

You can mix and match additional ingredients such as raisins, chopped prunes, dried apricots and/or peaches, walnuts or other nuts. You can add chopped fresh lemons and/or oranges for more zest.

That's about it. Easy and wows guests. It's in another stratosphere from canned cranberry sauce.